I watch my wife's activity from work as she spends the day trying to meet up with the neighbor but is unsuccessful because he is busy with another job site. The next day my mother asks to spend time with my two kids so my wife drops them off with her and has the day to herself.
While she has it unlocked for me I install Anti-theft software so I can remotely turn the GPS back on and set up At&t Message Backup and Restore so I can read all of her text messages from that point on my computer. Fast forward to July and at this point the paranoia is driving me nuts so I tell her that I need to install new anti-virus on her phone. It was at this point that I realize that there are large gaps in her GPS history because she was turning off her phone's GPS. I can't help but worry that something isn't right so I start checking her location using Google Timeline. More time goes by and the neighbor is spending more and more time at our house but the office is being completed slower and slower. I felt uncomfortable with it but I knew she had a perverted sense of humor and I thought she would never do anything to hurt me. There were no other messages to the neighbor but I found out later that was because she had setup her phone to delete messages after a certain amount of time. I go through her messages and find that she is texting the neighbor, "I am all covered in frosting, you wanna lick it off?". So one morning I wait for her to get in the shower and I grab her phone before it requires the password. But when I ask her what she is doing she says nothing and puts her phone away. I see her using her phone and smiling to herself more and more often.
Time goes on, her phone is still password protected, and things don't feel right. It struck me as odd as in our 6 years together she has never said she felt guilty about anything and always insists that she never regrets anything in her life. About a week later she came to me and told me that she felt guilty keeping a big secret from me and told me that she was having our neighbor, a contractor, build a home office for me as my present. When confronted about it she told me it was because she was planning my Father's Day present and didn't want me to ruin the surprise. It was in May of 2015 that I noticed that she had added a password to her phone. I was working a lot of hours (60+ per week) and was noticeably stressed. So to go back to the beginning I had just taken on a new project and new responsibilities at work. It has been 476 days since I confronted her about it, how do I know? Because every time I catch myself thinking about it I tell myself, "It's only been X days, maybe you won't think about it tomorrow". I stayed with her for the sake of our children, but I haven't been able to get it off of my mind since. TL DR: I caught my wife cheating on me over a year ago. I'm having a hard time coping with my wife having cheated on me with our neighbor Let's see if we can extend that support further. That said, thank you for supporting jasoninhell the way all of you did, especially in following up after his first update. Something which seems obvious to any one of us is rarely ever obvious to someone in the weeds of the relationship itself. Going forward, all we ask is to please observe tone when providing advice and realize the potential for complications which might make any advice difficult to follow. Ultimately, this speaks to the fact that everyone participating here is doing so with limited information and should be open to the possibility that there's more than meets the eye whenever providing guidance and advice. However, the tone used for quite a number of comments was unnecessarily harsh and may have failed to consider the reality of the situation (as best as we could've known-hindsight is 20/20). The intent behind much of the tough-love advice in the original thread was obvious to all of us reading the thread and upvoting comments as well as to jasoninhell himself. Alternatively, there's also a gofundme page in memory of his children. Jasoninhell came to us seeking support, so we encourage anyone who can offer him support (especially local to him!) to reach out. We're using this post to draw attention to two things:
For jasoninhell's sake, we won't repost the details here, though the news update can be found linked here. It came to us via /u/mistermorteau that the request for advice by /u/jasoninhell has taken the worst possible turn. This is a mod-authored update on the request for advice titled "I'm having a hard time coping with my wife having cheated on me with our neighbor ""